I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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