Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
