I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
jump out the window naked night went bad
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
