How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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