Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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