So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
