I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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