We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
