I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
