it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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