hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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