Kiss
Puke
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
