I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Randomize
