The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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