do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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