I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You were trust falling into bushes
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
