isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
