I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
