i just had sex bonerless
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
