dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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