His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
