Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
