better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
