I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I think a kid would responsible me up
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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