yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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