HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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