I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
