If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
