My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
