Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
