just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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