wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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