Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
