Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
