you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
