i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
