Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
