you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
