I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
