im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just forgot I was standing up.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
