You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
