I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
the day after is always just damage control
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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