Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
