You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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