She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
