I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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