Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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