So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
