Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
