Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
