i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Boobs are out for the taking
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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