if you like me you must not know who I am
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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