At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
